Wednesday, November 02, 2005

buckets of puns

Sifting through some old, half-written posts and notes, I noticed this old story that I never posted. Warren Clements of the Globe and Mail had a contest. Read on…

Let's twist words

Saturday, July 2, 2005 Page D14
E-mail Warren Clements

The challenge was to amend the title of a well-known poem or song to reflect any part of the Gurmant Grewal controversy: the Conservative MP's taping of conversations with senior Liberals, the talk of possible rewards if he and his wife (also an MP) crossed the floor, the apparent editing of the tapes and the investigations into the case. Almost everyone submitted Don't Be Grewal. Where there were duplicates, I flipped a coin.

The winner:

Begin the Beguile. (Margaret Hanna, Regina)

Other scandalous titles:
Thanks for the Memorex. (Michael Capon, Fredericton)
The Long and Rewinding Road. (Thom McKercher, Toronto)
If I Knew You Weren't Coming I'd-a Faked a Tape. (Michael Nozick, Winnipeg)
You Were on My Mike. (Linda Lumsden, Peterborough, Ont.)
Norwegian Wood Be a Nice Diplomatic Posting. (David Roberts, Victoria)
Let's Twist Words Again. (Colin Eyssen, Toronto)
Ain't Too Proud To Bug. (Rick Farquhar, Kincardine, Ont.)
Copacab(click)inet post. (Bill Kummer, Halifax)
The Wreck of the Aspirants. (Barrie Collins, Courtenay, B.C.)
The Thomas Gray poem Grewal's Alleging. (F. W. Morgan, Perth, Ont.)
You're Nobody Till Somebody Bugs You. (Jay Cates, Comox, B.C.)
Snitchcraft. (Jay Cates, Comox, B.C.)
First I'll Take Manhattan, Then a Cabinet Post, and My Wife Will Take Berlin. (Geoff Williams, Victoria)
Now, If You Had a Million Dollars. (Cheryl Ashley, Winnipeg)
(All We Know It's Just) Another Trick in Grewal. (Brian Yamashita, Ottawa)
Barrage Over Troubled Patter. (Marilyn Penner, Winnipeg)
If Ever I Would Believe You. (Marilyn Penner, Winnipeg)
It's a Wrong Way to Tip a Tory. (Audrey M. Bates, Moncton)
Private Enhancer. (Arthur Chapman, Winnipeg)
Oh, My Daring Clandestine. (Sylvia Betts, Vancouver)
Splice, Splice Baby. (Sylvia Betts, Vancouver)
That's the Way (Uh Huh, Uh Huh) I Spliced It. (Rosemary Alfers, Ottawa)
You'll Never Talk Alone. (Leslie McKillop, Truro, N.S.)
It Was Just One of Those Stings. (Roberta Baird, Toronto)
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off the Record. (Joan Buckingham, Oshawa, Ont.)
I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You Copenhagen. (Marie Vernon, Ottawa)
We Gotta Get More Out of This Place. (Gordon Findlay, Toronto)
It Ain't Necessarily "No." (Fred Farr, Thornhill, Ont.)
I Get a Kickback Out of You. (Leslie G. Andrews, Vancouver)
Nice Perk If You Can Get It. (Ken Purvis, Toronto)
Come on-a My Side of the House. (Ken Purvis, Toronto)
Why Not Tape All of Me? (Bob Muirhead, Lakeshore, Ont.)
Canadian Payload Trilogy. (Eric Mendelsohn, Toronto)
(The Reels Are Alive with) The Sound of Musings. (Sudhir Jain, Calgary)
Do Nothing Till You Hear from Paul. (I. D. Beardsley, Montreal)
That's What I Like About Mute. (Trish McSweeney, Toronto)